people without passwords on their phones are the strongest and most terrifying people you will ever meet
I Hate My Fuckening Life And I Hate The FUCK Government
yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
*is sobbing in the washroom* *catches my reflection in the mirror* *sniffles and says yaaaas* *goes back to crying*